winter solstice

song.land podcast—seek and destroy (the winter solstice)

I’m republishing this long and energetic song.land after way too long! We visit the winter solstice and go through a myriad of genres and messy improvisations to land at something beautiful.

One part I cannot get out of my head begins at 29:30. With a drummer and bass to add a groove in that section, it would drive so well and create such a fun anthemic song. I like the song in this first-draft state, except the words fall apart more than I would like.

Also, this Song Land has a metal section, so mark that block off your Song Land Bingo drinking game.

Formerly called Seek and Destroy (the Winter Solstice).


Transcript

0:00

Song Land

Come with me as we journey to faraway lands
Where the days grow short

Come with me to December 21
Where we have the shortest night of the year [it’s the longest night, not the shortest]
I want you to see it with me

Journey with me now as we explore the things
Left and right and up and down
This history of the winter sunset

It’s the shortest day of the year
And it’s the longest night that I ever have seen before
We’re going to see the winter solstice
Together, you and me, winter solstice
And I celebrate the lights
I celebrate the lights

(instrumental)

I take you where our dreams are growing brighter
Every day that we look around
We don’t have to be sad and lonely and broken
‘Cause tonight’s the longest night
And after tonight our earth brings back the balance

Brings back the balance, balance
Brings back the balance
Brings back the balance
The balance of our days

And I know that it’s not a lost cause, no
And I know that you’re still with me
Because these days have been so long
But they need not continue on
‘Cause the sun is coming back

And these nights that carry on and on and on and on
They are, they are at their end
At their end”

5:15

[Spoken intro]

7:15

And a song comes off the top of my heart, off the top of my head
Hold on
Hold on

And the song lifts my spirits in ways I never knew
Hold on
Hold on

We run and hide from the truth in our lives
I cannot face the quiet of the night
‘Cause the thoughts don’t stop pouring in again and again
Quiet down, my mind, let it go, let it go

All those thoughts that hold you up late at night
May they wash away like an ocean’s tide
Let it go
I can let it go

My days will soon be no longer
And I want to have the time with you
While I have today
While we’re singing

We have so much to be thankful for
So let’s sing a song together
Not a professional song
But a ditty that we make up on our own

9:40

I take you out with me
We grab a bite to eat
And we go to the movies to see Spiderman: Into the Spiderverse
And you ask me for popcorn with extra butter
And I do not have the cash for that
I say, “No way, I can’t subscribe to the life where I have to pay for popcorn at the movies
I cannot get behind that
I cannot get behind that.”

And you love me anyway
And you love me anyway, oh
And you love me anyway
And you love me anyway, anyway
Anyway, anyway

11:10

So hold on through the long and dark winter nights
Hold on even if we don’t get our wish tonight
Hold on, some day I’ll make enough money to get you buttered popcorn
My hope and my dream is that could be reality

Reality, reality, reality, reality

11:55

Hold to the money that you have
Take what you need and do a cash grab
Take what you want of this life
What’s the purpose?
What’s the meaning?

Take what you want from tonight
Take what you need, it’s alright
These are words I do not hear myself say
I need to hear it more, oh, I need to hear it more

I need all I have with you here in my life
Together we are so much more than I could ever want
Together, we have so much more than I could ever want

And I know that I need
Your brilliance and distance from myself, from myself
Know, I need
The loneliest of the trees

This is all I ever want
I need you in my life, I do
I need you in my life, I do

13:50

I never wanted this for you
I never thought of this for you

But you get to make your own decisions
You have control of your destiny
You get to make the choices
You may not have money but you can still believe that

Someday, your work will pay you off
And someday, your work may pay off

You might need to move away from the people that hold you down
You might need to restart in a new part of town

But hope is the human story
I wouldn’t hold if I couldn’t

I trust, I trust
I trust in a bright and beautiful future in my life

15:45 – 16:20

And if I tell you that Tuesday night
I’m going out alone
I wish you would trust me, I wish you would trust me
And if I told you that I wasn’t stupid on own
I wish you would trust me
I wish you would trust me

But you can’t, cause I can’t
And you don’t understand that I don’t understand
That I want to sing these songs

And we don’t understand each other as we could
But that’s ok cause I do not understand
I do not care about the pain that I am afraid
I don’t want to fear what is not really here

I’m borrowing trouble again
When I worry about the bread that is rising
Or all the things that are not done yet

So can we get away from all of this tremendous pressure in our lives to be delivering perfection?
Cause I’m not perfect, you’re not perfect
We can have bad nights

And it’s all right, you can still love me, trust me, hold me, accept me
Take me up on your own
And we can some day have a yacht where we do sail to the other end of oceans and see them for ourselves

I do not want to stand here by myself
I do not want you to leave me by myself

18:15

But if my own ways are troubling
Then you’ve got to figure out something for yourself that is bigger than what I have to offer you

If it’s not enough I would like to be your partner
Or something more, or something less
I do not yet know, oh I do
But if you would not take me for your own
What would I do then?

If you don’t accept me, what do I do with that?

I will not ghost you
No no no no no
I will not ghost you
No no no no no

19:00

Five six four and one
It’s how we get these songs done day after day
Five and six, four and one
It’s all we need to have a place that has lots of fun

Five six four and one
It’s all I ever needed to have perfection under the sun
And five six four one
What more could you ask for, what more do you want out of me, son?

I have given all I have to give
And I have given all I know to give

And nothing else I have today will let you be so satisfied
And if it’s not enough for you then
Honey, I don’t know what will do
If you want some more from me
What can I do for you?

And if you want so much more from me, then
What can I do for you?

20:33

If I’m just here to sing a song
And I don’t really care about your interpretation of the pauses and the breaks and the ridiculousness

I do not need another critic in my life
I’m just here to have a stupid, good time
I’m not here for the rest of this judgments of our ways and days

And I know you had a tough life
I know you had a tough life
I know you had a tough life
I know you had a tough life

22:00

(speaking)

‘Cause tonight is just a night when I don’t know what to sing about
I thought of singing of the winter solstice
But that turned out to be a dry well

So what’s left?
So what’s left?
Is it Christmas trees, and dinner time, and pies in the over?

So what’s left after the sun sets and I am left alone with my own heart and my priorities
What’s left?
What’s left?

When I don’t have the clarity to see the things in front of me
What’s left?

23:22

My baby, she came to me last night
She said, you better get your stuff right
Cause your life is a wreck, you have no place to go

And I confess that’s true
Some days it makes me blue
But I love the most of all
Getting to raise my sons, that’s top

And second is Song Land
This place where we make stupid songs in stupid songs
Song Land
Is the time I get to be with you and sing the song
With you and sing the song

Like when I was 13, we had a chicken coop
Where they free roamed outside
And I would walk out with my guitar
And sing songs that gave my chickens hope
I’d tell them sweet nothings
To lay bigger eggs for us

And in my heart, and in my soul
I thought I helped

25:17

Or when I was a young boy
Five or six
Actually maybe younger
I would sit out on the street corner and sing for neighbors passing by

These songs are for you, dear
That’s why I don’t know what I’m saying, dear
What do you need in your life?
I’ll sing it to you tonight.

I love the song with all my heart
I love the song, I love the song
Cause you and I can see for hours
See for hours when we sing together, together

We can have everything we need and want in our lives
When the joy of the song gives it to us tonight
When the joy of a song gives it to us tonight

27:04

I can’t play this song ‘Cause I’m lifting it tonight
I have to change the way I play
This Zwan, if you hear it

A lyric, a start. A future.
That is all of ours

I know, I know the soul sings loudly
The songs love

I know, I know the future seems so bright with you by my side

I know, I know it all will give me the one I need tonight

29:15

(intermission)

29:30

I wash my hands of all of this filth
I rinse my mind of all of that what comes behind me
I take my own hands, raise them up.
I call out to my friends and family. That’s you.

Take me out to where the canyon rises
Take me out to where I’m not alone
Take me out to where the canyons rise
Where the sands touch my feet

And where I have so much ice cream
And taste it on my lips

My baby cries when we’re in tandem
‘Cause we have so much more to give, oh
And we have so many choices
That we become a beautiful dream

And we have love,
Oh so much love, oh
And we have joy in deepest ways
And we have all we never really wanted
And we have all we want to give

So hold up your hands and fly
So hold up your hands and fly

We have so much more to give, oh
And we have so much more to give, oh
And we have joy, a deepest joy
And we have laughter all around

And we have friends who come together.
And we have love, oh deepest love.
And you have all you ever wanted

Your deepest joys are yours

And I have canyons up around me
There they are so high
They touch the sky

And ancient runes stand in front of me tonight
They’re all around

And, oh, tonight, they’re all around
They’re all around
And oh, tonight, they’re around

34:25

My baby’s gotta go
There’s no way to know
Who is right and who is unfortunate

We have so much to give
Have so much to give
So much to give

And all this to live
For you deserve in love
And give in love
And have in love
And taste in love
And share in love
And cry in love

35:55

So we go back from the canyons
And you have a beautiful new foreigner

And we are rolling over mountains to hopeful places
And we have all we want and need
And we have all we want and need
And we have all we want and need

And we have all we want and need
And need and need and need and need and need

37:15

The beauty of the earth
Is all that is around
Is all that lies between
The beauty and the sound of our love, of our love
Of our love, of our love

Of our love
Of our love
Of our love
Of our love

(repeats many times)

You hold my hand in yours
You hold yours in my hand
You take all parts of me
You make me whole, you make me whole

You take all the parts of me
And make me whole, make me whole

You take me and make me whole
Make me whole, make me whole

You take me and make me whole
And make me whole, make me whole

You take me and make me whole
Make me whole, make me whole

You take me and make me whole
Make me whole, make me whole

You take me and make whole
Make me whole
Make me whole

40:50

Well I’ve never been alone like this before
And I’ve never been untold like this before
Until time immemorium
I don’t need no stinking one
There ain’t no way
There ain’t no way
There ain’t no way, ain’t no way, oh

Ain’t no way my baby left me
Ain’t no way I told her, “Go”
Ain’t no way I told her nothing was my own

And I want you back by me, baby

I know
I know
I know
I know we raise our hands when we’re sitting by the camp fire
Best friends all around

Grab a beer, grab an ale, grab an old ginger ale
Have it here with me, by the stove
And I love to stay every once in a while at a campsite here or there
‘Cause there’s life I need
The fresh outdoors

I have to feel the breeze on me

42:50

I’m freakin’ out ‘Cause all the beauty in the world
I’m freakin’ out at the beauty in the world
I’m no champion of all you do, you do

Joy, you do, you do
Oh, joy, you bring me joy
Bring me joy
Bring me joy
Bring me joy

I take you by the hand and we walk a million miles, a trillion miles, a guadrillion miles
I take you by the hand and gravity alerts
The mountains are not shaped the same way that they used to be

Oh, kiss me
And take my hand and I will dance the newest dance I’ve ever had with a person in the world
Dance with me
Dance with me
Dance with me

44:30

This is it
This is it
This is it
This is it

This is it
This is it
This is it
This is it

Cause joy and life bring so many things to them
Cause joy and life bring so many good things to them
Cause joy and life bring so many glorious, beautiful things

They are black, they are white
They are all precious in his site

Oh, we the people of this universe take a pledge
Where we give up our rights instead
And all the beauty of the earth
Is all coming together like a brand new baby’s birth

It’s so beautiful, wonderful, friendly, and sweet
Wonderful, kind, and oh so serene.

We are gathered together here in the name of one
We are one and all
By being together we are one

Is that redundant, reductive, or, oh, just a circle?
Is that reductive or redundant or, oh, just a circle?
Is that reductive or redundant or, oh, just a circle?

46:40

(in voices)

I am so crazy tonight
Why are you so, what do you think is the right thing to do?

What do you think about it
When you don’t need the sweetness?

You’re not crazy about it
You’re not crazy, your not sweetness

No, your sweetness is not here
Not here at all (she’s not here at all)

No, sweetness is not here
She got grumpy and left (she got grumpy and left)

She’s a meany head
She hurt my feelings
She said I didn’t amount to nothing and I was like my dad

That hurt my sweet feelings
And now I’m so effin’ mad
If I don’t have anyone, I don’t have trust, blah blah blah

I was taking it next door when I was there
I was delivering your pizza
Cause I work at Papa John’s

And that boy was there who wasn’t there and…you never gave me a tip!

That’s how the story goes of Pizza Joe.
Pizza Joe was a man who had everything he ever wanted
Pizza Joe was the kind of boy who you left alone
Marching down the street like you never knew you could

48:27

I’m the phantom of the opera (he’s there)
He’s the phantom of the opera

[Instrumental]

[Speaking] I’m going to destroy my voice

49:30

He’s here: the phantom of the opera
He’s there: the phantom of the opera

He’s watching over me
He sees my every step
We’ve done a million plays since they said he left
But he’s there, the phantom of the opera

He’s there, the phantom of the opera

Oh

He’s there: the phantom of the opera
He’s here: the phantom of the opera

Ah

I’m in love, in deepest, joyous love with you
It’s a joy, unending joy every time we snuggle at night
I get to lay by you, my sweet wife
I put my hand on your back and it makes you feel nice

What a gift I have being with you
What a gift it is to be with you
You make cinnamon rolls on Christmas Eve

How amazing, how sweet

Thank you!
Thank you!

Your joy, your life, you’re all complete
You’re all I need, you’re all I crave: your love, your love

52:30

It is all that I ever wanted
It is all that I ever had
It is all that I ever needed
To taste you, to taste you

To taste you in my sweet mouth
To taste you in my sweet mouth

That kiss
That kiss
That kiss
That kiss

That kiss
That kiss

Believe in your loves and your life
And your pieces
They have all what, what you want.

[Speaking] What is this? It’s drink time.… [continues talking]

54:00

In my mouth, in my mouth
Down my throat, in my stomach
Where it’s refreshing
And my omelettes get their buddies

Oh, my cells
Are thirsty, thirsty, thirsty
They need more water, water, water
They need more
They are telling me

Thirsty, thirsty, thirsty, they are
Thirsty, thirsty, thirsty, they are
They have weak cell immunity right now
‘Cause I’ve been sick the past week

Thirsty, thirsty, thirsty they are
Thirsty, thirsty, thirsty, they are
Thirsty, thirsty, thirsty they are
They have always wanted more from us
And I have never knew how I’d live up to that

They always wanted more from us
They always wanted more from us

Thirsty, thirsty, thirsty, thirsty
Thirsty, thirsty, thirsty, thirsty
Thirsty, thirsty, thirsty for more

Thirsty, thirsty, thirsty, thirsty
Thirsty, thirsty, thirsty, thirsty
Thirsty, thirsty, thirsty for more

56:27

Thirsty, my cells are thirsty
I can’t reach that water bottle without stopping the strumming

57:00

It’s time for me to go
I’ll let you know
It’s time for me to put down this old microphone
‘Cause it’s Christmas Eve
And I gotta help my bride, indeed
Put these gifts under the tree
‘Cause there’s no Santa

And if you’re Jewish and you celebrate, happy Hanukkah
And if you’re Kwanza-Leaning, celebrate Hanukkah, Kwanika [I clearly don’t understand much about Kwanza]
And if you’re nothing at all and you make jokes about Festivus to your friends
Or even if you’re something and you still make jokes about Festivus to your friends

You’re ok with me my friends
You’re ok with me my friends
‘Cause our love will complete the circle
The circle of friends

58:40

(spoken) I feel like I need to sing in Mandarin right now
‘Cause there are more people in China
And I wish that we, too, could be friends

If you happen to know any English
Would you be so generous as to join in?

‘Cause then I could know
That everyone I’ve met around the world so far
Knew the reality they are in
And found joy, and found joy because of it

Found joy, found joy because of it

59:55

Ending


Published by song.land

song.land is made by jesse