when harris wittels died in 2015, i improvised this song afterward to commemorate the terrible day.
recorded 2015-02-28. first release: 2022-01-08.
transcript
from the very beginning of this song
your light would shine through the darkness
when i thought of all the ways we’ve connected
i know that it was truly astonishing
i wouldn’t have to wake up in my bed in the morning thinking
what am i gonna do today
i don’t have another place to go
you’d give me hope like a sandwich would that was leftovers
the only thing motivating me to get out of bed
and i would say, this is not the day for you to win
this is not the day we’re gonna fight about it
it’s like it was when i was young
now i’m older still but i’ve got the things going on that never change
they’re still the same
the same fears come crawling through my door at night
and in the morning they don’t see the light
and every time i look around, i feel afraid
is this all going down the drain?
will i ever be more than a follower
more than a dreamer?
and it would come across like the fears in the night
and the people in the suits wouldn’t say it’s alright
and i would never know anyway, even if they tried
all the bones in my body seem drained of the marrow
and i knew that they would see something that would harrow me
but i didn’t know how to call upon it
it was lost in the depths of loss
so fearful of integrity and all the things that had to be
i never really say no
i never really want to say no
even though i know that this is gonna kill me in the end
even though i know that this is gonna kill me in the end
even though i know that this is gonna kill me in the end
your still a friend i have that gets me out of bed
your still a friend i have that gets me out of bed
and i’m not scared of anything that’s left here now
and i’m not scared, and you
even though this is gonna kill me in the end, i’m not afraid
even though this is gonna kill me in the end, i’m not afraid
even though this is gonna kill me in the end, i’m not afraid
but someday i will have to end it
someday i will have to end it
someday i will have to end it
but not today
the siren song of opiates is waking me today
i’ve got nothing else to give
the siren song of all the things i love so much
seem just to always fade away
rest in peace, harris wittels