please enjoy tonight’s song dot land. a friend told me they listen to this podcast while they go to sleep. what a gift that was to my soul this week! this episode was recorded on 2022-01-02, the second day of the year. the day of the new moon.
this uncut episode has highs and lows as it explores the opportunity for change at the beginning of something new. i used a looping pedal in the middle that allowed for some fun playing around with self-accompaniment. enjoy!
this week’s song.land scorched into existence after jesse listened to chopin. inspired by polonaise no. 6 in a-flat, op. 53 (“heroic”), jesse outputs music with the trouble and chaos inspired by chopin’s masterpiece.
how amazing is right now? enjoy this voyage of song dot land, a journey into understanding ourselves. christmas gets mentioned, and a plug for a theatre production i’m in this week: irving berlin’s white christmas!
in tonight’s beautiful song dot land, jesse takes you on a journey into diamonds and sand. who knows what that means. this one soars. the volume climbs and drops with rich reverb. 9:20 is beautiful. enjoy!
i mention my fear and concern for the globe. stop mowing your grass, life depends upon it!
i was diamonds and sand i was perpetual i split apart light i split apart diamonds
look at a creek and look at the water running on a day when the sun shines all of the reflections mirror our star
light bright come to me light bright come to me and take me, all of me for you
and define me in new positions and realize transmission is all, happens only when we talk
and with you we soar to the end when fire takes half the nation, the world
oh no! we’re losing the simcity game of life on the world stop mowing your grass life depends upon it
oh (beautiful, soaring!)
(guitar atmosphere playing break)
without you i cannot stand no no no without you i cannot breathe no no no
bring me the whole world bring me to life on the canyons and rivers recycled through time
water drips down
congratulations to the stars among us taking their part oh
song dot land is a place where we can sing our songs flips and flips and fix and and ride and have your “one is almost”
doubt i think it is real that this time i know your first name
i’m packed like an egg sandwich protein for everyone
i’m packed like an egg sandwich
the rest remains untranscribed, a few more minutes
i visited the smoky mountains for the first time in three years. i was moved. i was called again. ancient mountains. ancient wisdom.
stretch your legs stretch your mind what new ideas leave you unrefined?
all i am where i knew that you’d leave me by the old side i hold it smoke rolls down from mountaintops
the mountains rocks earth pushed high into skies we climb
i swim in your rivers i wash in your baths your smoke rolls over me your smoke rolls over me
i washed through you i passed through cloud on earth
i’ve nothing left to want i’ve nothing left to need i have everything my fingers ever wanted i can touch you i can touch earth i can touch heaven in my finger tips
there you are there i wash there i find the song of the cove stars burning down bright in the middle of the night look up and you’ll find all the deer are watching all of the heavens move move move with the night time to move
the mystery of life is that we come from earth mixed with sky
welcome to another episode of song.land, a silly music podcast! i recorded 30 minutes of mind-numbing music, late at night and with a raspy voice. enjoy the journey that ends with a plea—please!—build a giant boat!
if i were yours i’d notice what it took i would walk there from far away
you would be my only one you would be my girl i would carry you so far you would see it all
into my arms you find it in some new way
welcome to song dot land sit and enjoy the journey through song and sound take a walk and look at the sun
what a beautiful night tonight will be stars shining on you and me the beauty resonates the beauty resonates
and i was always given everything and you were always with me
not alone, you are not alone, you are standing strong by your lonesome you gave all there you were holding hands all your tries were in his plans
give it up give it up for good
give it up give it up for good because fear has no place for you and me
you can be complete on your own you will find this could be a new beginning this could be a new chance maybe it’ll go right
oh, it did not go the way it seemed it would oh, it did not resound across the fields oh, I did not need anymore you were mine and i alas! was yours
i pick at strings resounding love and unity they drive each other insane and all i have is together in you i know everything
in you i know everything
i am a thousand miles a thousand dreams i lift it all to you
you could be a way for me to get back home!
limiting beliefs will drive you up a wall you won’t have all you need but look in the rearview mirror and see mountains
a life moves better hope rings new we can be all you need
i would break ice and fish for you i would explore the world with you
you could be all that you are you could be all
i fly down a canyon without you i give up my everything to be without you
the life begins again every springtime birds fly no bounds
everytime you would love to see you find something meaningful
i would be seventy-five percent the man you need i would be all you need i would be all of you i would be all of you
i would be all of you
i could be all of you all of you all
i would run back from the dark into pools of joy you would have it all you would have it all you would have it all you would have it all
i play strings that resound the sweetest sounds that, my friend—they comfort me in the dark
life is hard and when you rest your head at night you would have it all
all all all
i would step a million miles just to fly with you into something wild you would have it all you would have it all you would have it all
we could be like this again one from the other, you are ‘ere i am standing tall but i know you are
you would have it all
if you could see we would stand at shores and find a way to be and find a way to be and find a way to be you would know all the things you want to know
love is strong it’ll carry you and me along there we’d walk a thousand extraordinary miles there you’d be one with me
there you are there you’d be one with me
this is song dot land this is song dot land this is song dot land
little by little you would become all that you wanted is finally done, finally gone
there you were there you were there you were a thousand miles
i’d give you mountains to walk on you’d see it where you are you’d be what you are to me a piece of kindness wrapped in bacon
like an autoharp singing its final song here’d you’d go here’d you be
i could know you you could know me too there you’d stand there you’ll arm me like the noonday sun
you enchanted all we were i would know if you were you’d be captured by my trap you’d be all aboard everythings like that
ooh, i love your coffee scent ooh, it’s amazing what we can represent piece by piece heart by heart you can find a better to relate to those around you
and piece by piece, you can find it all when you look your way when you look that way
cross the street with care oh don’t walk when you’re about to get hit by a car or worse, a subway train! don’t be stupid don’t be dull
you could know they had ten beehives at my sister’s house and, oh, how pure and clean honey tastes! i know it now better than ever and, oh, it is my favorite it is my favorite sweet sweet!
oh, the thing on water white and red and otherwise you could fall you could fall
there you go who you are and who you know there you go there you go
you would be it all on the house you would wear it til it runs out you could never know i could walk and you would run there is no substitute to your kindness going on and on and on and on
cause we have eternal gifts gifts that have been passed on to us from the love and the hard work of those who came before
you carry it all through your veins ever day, every minute we’re learning and growing we’re learning and growing!
oh you know it if you saw it you could love until the end of time you would have everything in your heart and in your mind you would have love you would have food you would have joy
i would know you in a lineup i could tell it from the start oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh whoa oh oh oh whoa
you’ve been listening to song dot land podcast this weird longform song oh, it’s guitar, but i hope you enjoyed it thanks for listening
that short break in the middle was me drinking water this is brought to you in one take one take
and it’s ridiculous but we sing and play and dance and sing and play for hours and hours oh we can be finally who you need in us and we could see you from the top to the start
build a giant boat build a giant boat build a giant boat and float it out
recorded in the middle of the night on august 4th, i sang wired with a guitar and a disposable vape in my hands.
nicotine isn’t a big deal in the grand perspective of life (aside from how it will, you know, kill us early and keep me dependent on an addictive chemical), but it’s a compromise of my commitments. i expect integrity in the small things and the big things, so buying another disposable shows my weakness and my need for self-compassion.
what’s one way you can have compassion on yourself?
in the late of night i come to you to sing a story, how i finally found my wings we could all find a way to finally find happiness oh what a ruse oh what a ruse
i could finally sense the end where we laid our heads down pillows beside each other oh we’ll not have that again oh we’ll not have that again
my mind lies tells me i’m scared my mind lies tells me life’s not fair my mind lies in all i seek
[it’s] not in my grasp at last it’s not mine to grasp at last
i could vape for an hour just to try to find my way through instability and chaos i don’t want that for my life again
like when i was young when my all fell apart and my all fell apart oh my loss was some gain perhaps now that i sit here singing songs to you now that i sit here singing songs
driving up in my camry i thought what grandmas say oh drive safe oh drive pure
i could defend myself or slam on the gas with my foot i would push so far the oceans would rise up in protest singing songs of how they had it all
and i’d finally find where my emptiness comes from when i don’t know myself when i don’t know myself
i would fly i could swim wherewithal carries all and my voice could echo across the colorado mountains and i’d find mountains wanting more than i can provide and i would see you from the other side we could finally meet again we could finally meet again
where i know the buffalo once roamed and all was water and all was water
oh, i need you every moment i’m awake i hate you too i promised my kids vapes would end and still i take another draw and still i take another draw
and oh how do i live without you and oh where can i run when i don’t have you when i don’t have you when i don’t have you?
so catch up with your friends give them a call don’t make them wait we’ll be back together soon
i depend on molecules to feed my molecules trillions of us are right here to play
oh, i’m a bag of flesh and bones cords connecting every part of me trillions of us work trillions of us work so i can waste a saturday playing waste a saturday playing in hyrule field i’ll dance and sing and whip my sword
why do so many old people take up painting? paint explores the drive and motivation to create, to make, to push publish and share with others the fruit of our mind, bodies, souls.
“we make it by risking it all”
risk it all.
look around you what do you see?
a world full of squares afraid of who they are who are you when you join me now?
you are all you are all
i run so fast i do not see the way i went for long i don’t look back ’cause sorrows come to find me
don’t look back and turn around as you run from hell don’t look back as you run from hell
i could find you in a thousand faces ’cause you stand out so clear to me
oh i look and find you there i looked for so long for so long where were you in my pain? where were you in my pain?
hold on and run and don’t look back we’re leaving hell at last oh we are one and done together we run fast
i would find you in the reflection of water rain falls down and drops of sand on pavement oh i need you, oh i need you
oh i need you oh i need you oh i need you oh i need
all our days are numbered so let sorrows pass on by my regrets melt like water oh, wash down and float away in the wind here at song dot land
all your days all you try all you have is left tonight
welcome to song dot land podcast where we make up songs of life and pain and reality when art is done right here we craft like an improvisational plein air painting
i investigate in 6/8 time all of things i did and left behind
but the end of life were where we left why do so many old people start to paint?
it’s time to let it out it’s time to let it out all of these years i waited it’s time to let it out
so scream with me we’ll fly over oceans let it be as you deny your emotions
one more day ’cause nothing matters in the grand scheme
i might be flying over pacific islands in my dreams i may be lost at sea i won’t find anything for me, for me, for me
you’ll still be there i’ll still be there with you in the moments when i can scream, when i can run
oh, a little bit further and you would be there too
when you’re old may you paint and recapture the truth you once had before a job before a grade who were we when we were young? before betrayal before the tears before my friends humiliated me at my party
who was i then who was i then i was the same person singing right now thinking, oh if i could go back
oh there’s no way back the sun rises and sets express yourself you’re beautiful
paint the dreams you left behind in your osteoporosis you can never visit again a man without regrets is not a man
song dot land guides me to areas where my heart could bleed truth and life is so scary for me to find and i look on back on what a good day i had in the present moment
oh my mind be generous to me i’ll give and take i’ll dream i’ll wake i’ll still put my hand to the plow and get it done somehow
but love comes through risk and vulnerability so push publish share it publish share it
when nothing is one we’re all when we’re one so push publish and take your seat in the chorus of culture
for all of our ideas evolve little chances to thrive and grow and glow and know that we all as one might see the sun rise on a new day that’s better for our kids how could Picasso know that we would be conversing about him in dormitories two hundred years later? no one can know, so just push publish
you don’t know i don’t know we don’t know we can’t see the future so don’t have shame for all the fucked up things in this stupid world won’t even matter when we’re dead and your post still lives on wordpress.com when we’re dead
[instrumental until 13:30]
don’t tell other people how to live ’cause everything evolves you need only worry for yourself
so push publish
or at least wait until you’re old and pick up the paintbrush and tell the world at last oh, i made it every crazy day and storm oh, made it the ball keeps spinning more and more but, oh, i made it i know i’m tired but oh how i made it
keep on keep on keep on keep on
here at song dot land i run to look at all the possibilities of life living with you oh we share the best we share the worst will you accept me as i am?
oh, fear and longing for acceptance
thank you for another sweet saturday night with me take me and find me where everyone else is free i could look for you a thousand hours and still come up short oh, search and not give up i will search and not give up make and create and do not stop or fear
song dot land is brought to you by jesse for years i’ve called this thing so weird, i’ve been searching i realize i create for my own soul and i push publish so i know i do all i can in every day to be a maker may you do the same in all your ways don’t pretend that life is simple and you got it figured out it’s challenging every day if you don’t express yourself, you won’t know how to take the next step
’cause love, love will guide you and love is the same as making
take risks and find that vulnerable spot that still bleeds that weak, sad spot that still bleeds
goodbye for now until we meet again don’t fear what your heart guides you to just paint just paint with the movement of your arms and the flashing of your eyes just paint just paint tell the world your story just paint just paint let the fake blood run down your cheek and shoot, and find, you don’t have anything to prove you’ll find: we make it by risking it all