I want to see your body move
In the ways of the ocean
Pulled by the moon
Back to where we began—began

We venture into another, a meaningless meandering through my verbose thoughts set to improvisational music.

If you listen, thank you! If not, spend the 20 minutes you would listening to this in a healthy way—let a plant grow, reassure someone of your love for them because you matter and they matter, too, and/or eat an apple and consume the seeds for their healthy bacteria.


So far from
The place you call your home

Find a mystery
You do know your own

Let it go for you

Have what you did need

They were not there with you
Finding all the things wrong with you
And they were not there with you
Finding all, finding all


But their solace came on trains from the south
In distorted perspectives

When I thought that reality was a construct of their heart

You and I
Know better now
We know better now
We know better now

You and me
We know better now
We know better now

I want to see your body move
In the ways of the ocean
Pulled by the moon
Back to where we began
Where we began

Pulled by the moon
Into the sea
Where we began
Where we began

Ooh, where we began
Where we began


And life calls to you from higher places

Don’t let it all go to waste
Don’t let it all go to waste


‘Cause when we fall apart
We fall so hard

Don’t let your self-sabotage lead you astray
What do you want?


What do you want?
What do you want?

In your life, in love
In all relationships
What do you want?

In my loneliness
I seek to be found out

And in my loneliness
I need to be found out
I need to be found out
I need to be found out


And life was all, falling all to pieces
The light was so much more
If you could look beyond a day’s pain
What can you be grateful for?
In the midst of so much pain?

What can you be grateful for
In the midst of so much pain?


Riptides pull us down into the darkness of the water
And of the night
I can’t see anything

Riptides pull me down into the water
Into the sea

I see the jellyfish flapping toward me

Oh my life, what are you leaving me with now?
Me with now?


I sing a song with chords
And love is lost



I sing this song to you so that you can see that love has something left to give
Even if it’s temporary
The short-term admonition to your soul

I’m all on fire for you
I’m all on fire for you
I’m all on fire for you


I know the basket of pears that you left at my doorstep
Guide me on

Like Greek mythology
Is there some chase that I must find out?

Like all the fears I felt
All the years I felt
I’ll find out

Like you with your shirt tucked in
Walking around again
You are so unbelievable

I can’t believe that fate has brought us here
It’s hard to see how it’s all so clear

Can I impress with my skills
Like a peacock searching for
Oh, what a search it has raught

One, four, five six (this is wrong)
Six, four, one, five (this is right)


And I know life is all you need
Never looking beyond the seas
Where you planted all that you gave

We have something special
When we met together
Talking and walking and sharing each other
And knowing and looking and finding and seeing

And all I gave up was substantial to me
And all I gave up was substantial to me


(laugh at ending)

back—back returns for weekly episodes of this silly podcast project. Auto-tune brings the digital to the acoustic.

And our fears, don’t let it get to you
Anxiety may never come true

So, what, me worry?
So, what, me worry?
So, what, me worry?



“Where is your curiosity? Where are you asking into things you cannot see? We need you, we need you to ask.”—run

A new podcast drop is epic! I remain without a recording location so am not following a weekly schedule.

I am working to remedy this situation as is important to me.

(Every blog has to have a “I haven’t blogged in a while” post. That’s what 30% of all blog posts say. I’m happy to contribute to that statistic.)

Please enjoy! I did in making it.

The first 20 minutes are much stronger than the rest of the episode.


Shame—what’s the solution to such a universal emotion? This explores the feelings and ideas of shame and its cure, showing up in vulnerability.

Grab a cup of coffee and share with me while we explore.

I changed guitar strings before recording and the room was very humid. The strings sound more jangly than I’d like.

the sun—stay out of the sun

stay out of the sun (the originally published name) is an episode of where we discuss pressing into the uncomfortable, painful parts of our lives.

Except the sun. Don’t pick a fight with the sun. You will lose.


Welcome to
It is the afternoon
Which is usually the time when I feel so tired
Get the afternoon laziness in me

Not at at

If you want to go to places you’ve not yet seen
Then you have to risk things that you do know

How do we control the world?
Around us? Oh

Oh, life
You are so hard to understand
Some moments, it
Doesn’t make any sense at all

Like how we just open endlessly
What’s the value of our days?


Well, I can say a lot of answers, like:
Make money or
Have power or
Have influence or might

Or just struggle until I can be some form of happy
That I find in my heart

Or I can pursue the pleasures of a power greater than myself
A cause, God, a lifestyle, it’s
Oh, so varied

But still I often end the day feeling lonely
And still I often end the day feeling discontented and sad

So somewhere
There is a deeper way
To align ourselves with this planet that spin around on
Every single minute of every day
And all the revolutions go and go and go and go and go

But something special’s going to come out of it
And I think a part of it is finding the heart of it
Finding your soul
And singing a song about it
Welcome here with me
Welcome here with me

Welcome here with me




What do you need in your life
Where the pieces fall?
What do you need in your nights
Where do your pieces fall?

For me, it’s always something different
But usually it has to be with how much sleep I got and how I’m connecting to people

So what do you need in your life?
What do you need in your life?
I hold up a world different than mine
I observe a perspective different than mine

How do I do that?
Well, it’s not always clear
Looking out my windows, I see a tree
But I can never, ever look out your windows

I can guess, I can ask, and I can listen to you describe
But in humility
The truth is I can never understand you
‘Cause you are you are, and our consciousness is different

So, talking and listening
Seems easy and it seems universal
But it is not
It is not
It is not


I still interrupt
I still speak over
I still asked closed questions that have my preferred answered in the way I ask it
I’m not letting you decide for yourself

And I am someone that watches out for that
I try to watch and observe and improve
But even I mess up all the time
All the time
All the time
All the time

And I don’t listen to you
Not in the way I could if I were perfect
But I am not
You aren’t either

And I hear what you say
And I try to see it in your way
But I understand my view will always be cloudy

Even when we feel so magically connected
After talking for a very long time


When you or I are frustrated
What do you do?
How do you express it?
Where do you take it to?

I hope we have healthy ways
I hope you have healthy ways

It’s all that the powers of the world
Want to work out of
Human relationships
‘Cause productivity drops in all the measurements we seem to care about
Go down when we do the most important things in all our lives

Truly, it’s vital
It’s no waste
It’s like a business looking out for the next three months instead of the next 10 years

So listen to your way of communicating and try to make it better
What did the person before the person before the person started talking,
What did they say?
What did they contribute?
What did they add to the circle?
The volleys of conversation


It’s gotta be 95 degrees up in this attic today
This is an unsustainable place to record my music
I came up only at the beginning of this podcast
I’m sweating now in ways I wouldn’t care to show you

I am wearing deoderant
That’s ok, that’s ok
We all need to sweat
To build you heart muscles and your soul muscles and your arteries

The sweating’s not the issue
What it is is that I realize I have a low threshhold for discomfort

So many things in my life are marketed to me to make life easier
But that’s not what I really need
The sweating is fine
The work makes us better

Creativity splashes out of your need
So stay a little uncomfortable


Heat stroke
Heat stroke
Stay out of the summer sun

Heat stroke
Heat stroke
Stay out of the summer sun

Don’t let life get the best
Don’t let life overcome you
Be smart, be wise, and be shrewd

Be as kind as a dove
And as cunning as a snake

Stay out, stay out of the sun
If it’s killing you
But don’t run away from those uncomfortable places in your life

Wait patiently
See how you grow
How you change

‘Cause I know I don’t change when I’m comfortable
And I know I’m not learning new things unless I’m just a little bit desperate
I don’t reach out for help
Unless I really really really really need it in socially acceptable ways

That’s rediculous
But we still have to play the social construct game
So what do we do, what do we do?

That’s where you’re shrewd as snakes and as wise and kind as a dove
Flying through the sky
Looking like an angel

Oh, but I can slither on the ground and hunt
When I’m hungry
So stay hungry, and curious

And out of the sun
Out of the sun


‘Cause life is all I have
I need to protect
I need to give it all the time to raise me into a new kind of person
Let pain guide me
To become whole

And stay out of the sun


All I need is something that is out of reach
And all I need is the sun to warm me
To guide my way
And to set my days
And to let me know
Even if today is bad
Tomorrow will rise again
Stronger, stronger, stronger, stronger

Than today, oh, ’cause I have learned so much
From the pain in my life
Oh, it hurts, oh it hurts

And I change and I grow from the awful things that
I would not wish on anyone else

But it makes me whole
But it makes me whole

You have no idea your life is shaped by the terrible
Oh, it hurts so much

You are strong, and better
And glorious

‘Cause love
‘Cause love
‘Cause love is the song that remains when pain is a part of us


Learn and grow, my friends
Learn and grow, my friends
Learn and grow, my friends

And stay out of the sun
Stay out, everyone

Stay out of the sun
Stay out of the sun


I resonate good
So you can sing
Singing these songs everyday

Have a good day!

become whole—we become whole explores the gift that constant improvement offers our lives, whether from internal motivation or external motivation, whether something we do on our own or something done by energy + natural selection.

May you find hope in growing the parts of you that you feel ashamed of, afraid to share with others. It is in that sharing that you and I will find wholeness.

life finds a way

Listen to Life Finds a Way on explores the struggles and pain of failure, a necessary building block of hope in life.


When hope is gone and you feel down
From all the things that might be wrong
When all the places that you go as your cornerstone are out

Hold on
To the love
To the friends
At least the memories of what it once was

And hopefully you will have that again soon


Sometimes life feels like the maze in Highlights magazine
It’s just real life
It’s harder to navigate all the choices that you and I need to make

And it’s unclear what the next step will be
Until we try something and see


So don’t fear failure
‘Cause all of life isn’t clear
Until you try it
Til you try it


Instruction guides aren’t written
Until the problems have been uncovered
So when you take your risks
Of course, you can fail

So don’t be discouraged
When things don’t go as planned
Hold your head high
You don’t understand


Hold this, trust that things will get better in the future
We can all hope and wait for that
We can all hope and wait for that


Welcome and introduction


On Abigail Road we came so far
Like, people wanted more than they could ever know
It wasn’t in their imagination what they needed to be able to succeed

It was something greater
Than we could drive our cars to see
Looking over craters
Formed millions of years before you and me


Life has found a way to make it through
Even when destructive forces have changed the way we have to survive
So keep on practicing
Learning something bigger than you know today

Just keep on growing
So you’ll be ready for the change
So you’ll be ready for the change


I want it all like
Some people have had it
It’ll be so much greater when we’re all
Willing to fail catastrophically
In learning new things, oh, learning new things

Like, who first learned that you could cook a bean from a plant
Grind it up and have the most delicious cup of drink
That any person ever dreamed of

Well, it happened so long ago that those risks are forgotten
But the risks still have to be taken
If we’re going to find elegant solutions to the problems that we face
In a world that is filling up

This is all we, all we, all we work out
And we know together we can do so much more
And you have given me something
And now we can take it

Try it again and again and again
Try it again and again and again
Like light and shadow, it changes from the angle
Opening new perspectives up to see


So look again and again and again and try it another way
And the 40th time, you may succeed.
(the rest is not done, this takes so long to type out!)



“Reflection and Listening cary us through to other places, to other lands.” —4:00

Enjoy the 15 minutes of encouragement singing about facing fears and taking the risk to start something new in your life!

Formerly called back in the swing.

mary oliver

Episode 16—mary oliver

This episode is dedicated to Mary Oliver, the ferociously beautiful and connecting poet. I improvise songs inspired by a conversation between Krista Tippett and Mary Oliver from 2015.

You can find the original On Being podcast by visiting Mary Oliver—Listening to the World —The On Being Project with Krista Tippett.


[Opening and introduction]

[Opens with Mary Oliver and Krista Tippet speaking]


The marvel of the sun
It shines on everyone
The marvel of the sun
Shines on everyone

No one’s left untouched
In the cover where the grapes grow
Because life climbs toward the sun

And no one wants to hear tomorrow’s news
When your end will come
But sweet are all the days
That still guide you
On growing and changing into who you’ll be

When you’re old, may you be a fun person
Now if you’re young, you won’t know what the fear feels like


And the mountains call your name
And the mountains, they call your name
By the shirt and collar, they know your look
Fresh and lean, fresh and lean
Like love is real

And you hold it all in high esteem
Where you’re confident that it’s a dream
‘Cause it doesn’t seem like I could ever taste that

It’s almost the end

And you know it’s true


Mary Oliver reads two poems, two parts of four in a series.

“But this morning the shrubs were full of the blue flowers again”


Believe in truth
And trust in love
There is something
To hold these fears
Passing by where people don’t have to run and hide

Where something is better than fear

Than fear
Then it goes back to where you came from
And it flows back through where you came from

And we all that love is essential
It is all what we need
We hold each other in kindness

Like the blue flower
Like the blue flower
Like the blue flowers
Like the blue flowers

It was always just a dream
But time steals
All the hope that’s there
But we don’t hold it
Like a stone near a hearth

It’s coming for you
Like hope that overcomes our fears
It’s coming

It’s coming for you
It’s coming for you
It’s coming for you


The plants go left and right
Marching through their lives
They roll down endless roads
Where they are tested strike

They have all they want from it
They go searching on
They have nothing that is left
They have found the end

They have found the end

They have found the end
They have found, found the end, the end
Of striving
Of looting and losing
Of not knowing of what’s ahead


And the joy that is in
Every moment we have, oh
Oh it’s ours
Oh it’s ours for the taking

So do not get lost in fear
Do not get confused that I regret this
Do not misunderstand the joy that’s in my heart
The joy that’s in my heart
The joy that fills my every fond memory

And it didn’t start out that way
And it didn’t start out that way

It didn’t start out that way, oh no


When I was young
It was terrible in every way
Oh, it was so gray

Clouds covered all my perceptions
I could not learn the truth
Learn the truth

So hold on! to what you have
So hold on! to what you have
Hold on! to what you have
Hold on! to what you have

Oh sweet joy
We’re at the end
It’s been so much fun ’cause I let all the pain go
It doesn’t have to always haunt you

Watch the flower bloom
What does it do?
Does it regret its days and its choices?

Or its inability to have changed what happened


So just go and love the sun
So just know, and love the sun
So just know, and love the sun
So just know, and love the sun

So just know, and love the sun
So just know, and love the sun
Until the rain starts washing you
To terrible places you did not want

Into spaces you did not want
And you know there are futures

. . .

[This is a low point in this set. I think it picks up after this. I haven’t finished transcribing the lyrics. —Jesse]